January 2011
45 posts
livethefreedom-deactivated20110 asked: I love your blog Lucy! :D Happy New Year! ... friend lol see you soon!
New Years Eve
It’s funny, because it’s New Years Eve but I’m sitting on the computer with my feet up, just like any other night. It’s funny, because I can feel the party going on without me, but I’m in a quiet empty room. It’s funny, because I’m older, because I’m wiser, because I’m not any different from the me that was sitting here three hundred sixty-five...
Hannah likes her Christmas present :) Just so you...
December 2010
78 posts
Lucy.
Lucy: ANYWAY. 1) LUCKY and 2) LUCKY and 3) FUCK YOU and 4)
best friend ever?
thatwhorenextdoor-deactivated20 asked: yo im lying my phone is dead
go on aim for like 2 mins
go on aim for like 2 mins
those70scomics asked: I think you and your writing are badass.
I WANT FINNICK ODAIR.
Think women have achieved equality? Think again. →
We Can’t Be Equal While:
Gender Roles
Men are the default and women are the Other (and therefore lesser).
Being called “girly” or a “sissy” or “pussy” are some of the worst insults you can give a man.
When a woman shows confidence in herself, she is said to “have balls”, or conversely she is a “man-eater”, “ball-buster”, or a “bitch” because she was “too” assertive.
Men are beat up,...
1 tag
Six Word Stories
I can’t wait to be gone.
Sweaty T-shirt, flung to the floor.
Fingers crossed. “I do love you.”
That awkward moment when you realize that nobody...
1 tag
Six Word Story
Your hands were strong; mine, scarred.
Travel
I board a plane to Paris. I sail across the Pacific. I stroll over to Broadway; don’t see anything specific.
I swim in cold water, breathe fresh air I study art and the words of the dead I move until my body aches and my feet are heavy as lead.
I ski and run and roll and ride I walk and sail and fly and glide I go to lands far and near But I am still trapped in here.
“So you say it’s not okay to be gay; well I think you’re just evil....”
– “Fuck You” by Lily Allen
“Emma woke up in darkness, suitcase already packed. Note on the bed stand signed...”
– “Emma” by Alkaline Trio
I want to be at the beach.
Time
There is no other way I can live besides a moment-by-moment approach. If I looked at all that blank, pure, empty time spread before me, I would surely balk. I don’t want to exist tomorrow, or next week, or a year from now, or the day of my hundredth birthday. I don’t want to be there. I don’t want to think about how many bleak years I still have to tolerate on this Earth.
Alternative Lying
You told me you were weird. When you saw actual weirdness, a girl glaring and muttering at the floor, you cringed and looked away.
You told me you supported gay people and were against homophobia. Not a day later, the words “that’s so gay!” sprung from your parted lips.
You told me you liked to read. I noticed your trashy pink reading material.
You told me you didn’t...
“It only hurts when I breathe. It only hurts when I try. It only hurts when I...”
– “Just Another Day” from Next to Normal
“Zoloft and Paxil and Buspar and Xanex, Depacon, Chronaphin, Ambien, Prozac....”
– “Who Is Crazy/My Psychopharmacologist and I” from Next to Normal
I wish I could dance like her.
Freely Happily
Messily
Sadly
Legs spidery
Eyes closed With no conviction
Alone.
Anonymous asked: i really love your blog
tomanyreasonswhy-deactivated201 asked: greeen leemonade? amazing blog? yes and yes
dirtylittlehipsteress asked: I love love love your blog.
Sometimes I look out my living room window and...
“Don’t let me go, don’t let me go, don’t let me go…”
– Never Say Never by The Fray
Loneliness
Something has happened here. The streets are dirty and empty; the clouds black with soot. Every window as blank as one could ever hope or bear to be. Something has happened here. A breath ago, I was in a park sitting on grass, soaking up moonshine and moonlight Next to me was somebody I might have just met but I don’t think it mattered. Something has happened here because I blinked and then...
Anonymous asked: I think you write really eloquently and powerfully. That takes talent and bravery.
Just wanted to let you know.
Just wanted to let you know.
I'm trying to make my life worth living.
Outsider
This is partially inspired by Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher and tomanyreasonswhy.tumblr.com’s short story “The Other Side.” She is lying in her satin bed, eyes closed, skin pale, fingers laced, dress buttoned. Her hair is carefully brushed and curled. I have a vague memory of it being straight, but they curled it. I wonder if that’s how she liked it. I wonder if...
Take me back to that time I felt alive. Take me back to that night we both remember. Take me back to that feeling of dancing in fire. Take me back to that underwater world.
Things I Want To Tell Some People
“You are cold enough to freeze hell over, although I doubt you’d waste the effort. It’s not enough to be thoughtful and innovative and smart, dear; you have to care, too.”
“I like you. You like me. We’re friends. But I’m terrified of letting you down.”
“You are so sexy I can’t stand it. I love the things you say to me…could you...
Bits of wrapping paper litter the floor. An ornament broke - blue glass - but that’s okay, it’s been swept up. It smells like cinnamon in there. There’s food on the table, kids by the tree, laughter in the kitchen, and it’s warm.
1 tag
Cuckoo Clock (extension)
Note: This was written as an extension for a short story I wrote for English class. The story was titled “Cuckoo Clock.” “Hey, bitch.” “Hi, Lena.” “What’s up? Where were you?” “Nowhere.” “Hey, Jamie! Why you so late to lunch?” “No reason.” “Where you been?” “I wasn’t anywhere.”...
2 tags
Day 30] Favorite “foot-in-ass” moment
“I wish I had two thousand feet - so I could put five hundred of them in each of your asses!!!”
I think this speaks for itself.
Goodbye, Thirty Day Challenge. I’ll miss you!
Actually, no, I won’t.
Invisible Things I Have To Do
There are days where I would like nothing better than to be invisible because I would not have to worry about people seeing me I would not have to fake a smile I would not have to widen my eyes until they hurt I would not have to speak to everyone I hate I would not have to secretly believe I am being judged I would not have to sit up straight I...
2 tags
Day 29] Saddest moment
The final circle.
Oh, fucking hell…:’(
To Everyone It May Concern
To everyone it may concern, Have you wondered, have you heard why she wasn’t in school today? why Teacher just wouldn’t say?
To everyone it may concern, Recently, what have you learned? How to make a fake smile glisten? How to talk too loud to listen?
To everyone it may concern… I really don’t think you’re all that concerned. Anyway, I’ll be over there If one...
400th Post
Fuck yeah.
I love orca whales…(:
wwia0-deactivated20110717 asked: awesome! thanks for buying a shirt!
you're cool point have multiplied by 2000000.
you're cool point have multiplied by 2000000.
Okay, I’m still sad and pissed and everything, but you know what? I’m glad that I can talk to you, because you make me happy, if only for a few seconds. So thanks.
People make me sad.
“Life is like a movie. If you’ve sat through more than half of it and...”
– Doug Stanhope
“About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is this, the poor...”
– Josh Billings
You have no fucking right.
I’m a human being. I’m a little girl. You know what that means? It means I have these awful things called emotions. You know what that means? It means that I feel things. Sometimes I feel angry, lonely, horrible things, and sometimes I feel bright happy things. But I feel things. And you know what? You have no fucking right to dictate them. Where do you get off telling me I simply can’t feel a...
Things I Miss
Drawings of ink, crayon, colored pencil
Chasing boys on the playground, squinting in the sunlight
Tubes of cherry ice we bought at the corner store
Pogo stick-ing in the basement
Dreaming about things that didn’t matter
Not caring
Not thinking
Not choking back too many words
I miss you, too. Truthfully. I hope you know how much I miss you.
I am so fucking judgmental.
Yeah, I still love you.
You’re still a bitch. You’re still an asshole. You’re still a fuckface. You still ignore and refuse to look at me. You still talk to her more than me. You still brush past like you’ve never seen me before in your entire fucking life. You’re still heartwrenchingly cute, now that I can’t have you. You’re still dumb. You’re still immature. You’re...
White Wine
You lean against the counter, arms crossed, your hair messy and knotted. I sip white wine and laugh along with you. My shoulder is touching yours, just in the nicest way. It’s late. The blinds are up and the stars are out. There are people in the kitchen with us, eating, talking, kissing, being warm. Somebody else is singing in the living room, I don’t know. And we are so very happy.
One day;
One day, you will be a hole in the fabric.
One day, you will be a fleck of dust in the air.
One day, you will melt away completely.
Not yet, though. Not yet.
2 tags
Day 21] Favorite Red moment
When Red lets Hyde move into the Forman house.
Red: ***damn it! I am tired of being *** Santa Claus! Steven! You get your *** together and you get your ass in the ***damned car! We’re going! ***! Now ***damn it! Move it! HYDE: Okay!
Pretty sexy.